Persistent rumors of third-party candidacy disturb professional pols

Campaign pros in both parties are worried that the mysterious Brooklynite publicly known only as “Mister President” may consent to leading a third-party ticket with New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg running for the vice-presidency. One observer said that while the mayor was long on practical experience, only “Mister President” had the both the gravitas necessary to lead the free world and the fire in the belly to stop the proliferation of circular projectiles in public parks.

One source, who declined to be identified for the record, seemed to growl at our correspondent: “First, he’s got them all beat on looks and charm, and he knows it. Second, if he weren’t running, how come he’s got the best website of any of his peers? They didn’t design that overnight. The color coordination alone!”

The hometown boy who may be the first Brooklynite to occupy the White House.